[Transcript may not match broadcasted sermon word for word]

Happiness Point #97: Attack Reoccurring Thoughts

       It’s just a matter of life that as we live our lives, there are going to be thoughts that tend to reoccur in our minds. Usually, these thoughts are related to some negative event that we have been part of. These can range from all kinds of things. It could be someone rejected us, someone said something against us, we got in a car accident, a person said something really bad to us, whatever, there are all kinds of things that we can find are floating through our heads. The truth is, unless we do something about these thoughts, they aren’t going to go away anytime soon.

       I’ve talked about in the past that it’s important to observe our thoughts as if we outside of ourselves. One way to look at is going into third-person mode. It’s like when you read a book that’s written in the first person with all the “I did this, I did that” stuff, well, think of it as the “They did this, they did that.” Only “they” is “you.” It’s like your outside of yourself, observing yourself. This mind trick allows you to not react to every thought that comes to mind or tends to stay in your mind. By practicing this technique, you are able to allow the thoughts to play out and then pass by.

       And thoughts can even be ignored, where, one focuses on the ‘feeling’ as a whole instead of the thought. What this means is that when we have a series of thoughts about an event, let’s say, someone said something against us in a public setting, we have different thoughts about that—different camera angles if you will of the event. So, instead of trying to tackle all those thoughts, what can be done instead is just to focus on the overall feeling that the thoughts represent. So, in the case of someone saying something against us, we could think, “They spoke something against me” and just focus on that feeling and ignoring all the thoughts. That allows for the ‘feeling’ to pass, and that in turn stops the onslaught of thoughts associated with it.

       But it’s also important in dealing with reoccurring thoughts to have a plan of attack in that you have a series of ‘dialogues’ you go through when that particular thought or feeling emerges. This model was demonstrated for us when Jesus was tempted by Satan in desert. Jesus’ plan of attack was to have a Bible verse ready to say back to Satan that contradicted what Satan said. Now, we too can use Bible verses, or really anything that is true—it doesn’t necessarily have to be a Bible verse—to attack our negative reoccurring thoughts. So, again, in the case of the person who has spoken something against us, we could hold in mind the thought that we forgive that person every time it comes to mind. We could say, “I forgive this person for speaking against me and making me look bad, just as Jesus has forgiven me for my wrongs.”

Happiness Point #98: Our Brains Have a Negative Bias

       I wish it wasn’t the case that in this world are brains tend to default toward the negative. But, unfortunately, it is the case. Now a lot of scientists will tell us that this is due to our evolutionary ancestry. Well, I personally don’t believe in evolution. I believe God created humans to begin with, and even created each one of us individually. God certainly didn’t mess up when he did that, but what I believe is the problem is that we all have a ‘sin’ nature within us that makes us go toward the negative.

       This means that there is sort of a slope in the channels of our minds where the thought processes will flow in a downward direction. We will likely have a tendency to at first think the negative, or think the worst even. There will be a natural skepticism, a fearfulness that we better watch out. We better be careful. It is so much easier for us to remember the bad things that happen, and so easy for us to forget the good things. I know this personally to be true because I have a habit of keeping track of good things that happen in my life. I will make a note of them when they happen to look back on at a later time. Sometimes, when I go back to read those records I have kept, I don’t even recall the good thing that I noted until I re-look at it. This just goes to show how the positive easily escapes the mind.

       The beautiful thing is, is that we can re-gear, or re-wire our brains more toward the positive overtime. “That sounds interesting” someone might say. “How do I do that? I want to do that.” Interestingly enough, we accomplish this by doing what the Apostle Paul instructed us to do. “What’s that?” Well, it’s thinking about the positive, thinking about the good things. When we set out minds on the ‘good’ things, this not only makes us feel better, but my understanding is that it can actually cause physiological changes in our brains where they can actually rewire themselves overtime so that they have more of a tendency to think positively. So, when God told us to do this in the Bible, he had good reason behind it because it works toward really improving our bodies.

       In thinking about good things, it can really be anything good that we think about. It doesn’t have to be things we find in the Scripture. Those aren’t the only good things. We can think about nature, people who have loved us, people we love, pets we care about, good vacations we have taken, whatever, they all can work to give us good, positive, happy thoughts. The key is that we need to focus on these things for prolonged periods of time. Only thinking about something for five seconds isn’t really going to do us any good. I mean, think about it. When you think about negative things, you often dwell on those things for prolonged periods of time. Well, what if when you thought about positive things, you set your mind on them for prolonged periods of time? Why not do the reverse of what you normally do?

Happiness Point #99: Understand Your Church’s Subculture

       Every church has its own way of going about things. You might not think that would to be case, I mean, after all, aren’t we all Christian? But knowing that there are all kinds of Christian denominations means that there are going to be all kinds of different offerings and perspectives when approaching the Bible. Each church tells its people how they should act, and what they should focus on. Even what a person’s goals should be. And then, of course, what to avoid altogether. Churches teach their people what things are bad. Some things are okay in some churches, while other churches might go so far as to call those things sins. So, there definitely isn’t consistency across the board, not by any stretch.

       The important thing for us is that we become ‘aware’ of what these positions are, and that we carefully evaluate whether they are aligned with what we really believe inside ourselves. There really is no worse position to be in than to be in a church where you find yourself constantly disagreeing with what is said. That isn’t going to do anybody any good. That’s not going to do you good because you’re constantly miserable, and it’s going to be annoying to others because you’re going to be speaking up against those beliefs probably. Yet, people sit in these types of situations for decades. It is because they haven’t become ‘aware’ of the fact that really the church they are involved with isn’t compatible with them.

       The solution is not to waste your time and other people’s time. If your internal beliefs are formulated in such a way that is different than what your current church teaches, then why don’t you take the time to go find another church? Why go against the tide constantly as Jesus basically told Paul. Remember, when he approached Paul for the first time? Sometimes we need to realize that it’s okay if we disagree, and that there really isn’t anything wrong with us. We just need to figure out where we fit in. I mean, think about it. No one wears clothes they disagree with in how they look. People generally don’t go to college and learn about working a career that they don’t like. People don’t marry someone they don’t desire. So, why do people do this when it comes to church?

       Our happiness is key, and we can only keep this happiness by realizing that some of those who appear outwardly okay are really not on the inside. These may even be people that are widely accepted among other Christians, or churches as a whole. An easy way I found to identify troublesome groups is by how sure they are of what they are saying. “Sounds strange,” you might say. “Surety is bad?” Well, the problem is that the greater the promotion of debatable, individual doctrines, the greater the level of pride. And pride we know is the ultimate sin. It was the first sin that began all sin. We are never closer to the enemy, to Satan himself, than when we are full of pride. So, in view of that, in order to protect our happiness we must distance ourselves from those who are prideful.

Happiness Point #100: Consider What Could be Wrong but Isn’t

       Consider the day of an average person. They get up, perhaps do some devotional time while drinking a cup of coffee, they have a little breakfast and drive to work. At work, they look over what they need to do for the day and then start to tackle it. Perhaps there is the meeting or two. There are the interactions, the working with people, on various things. And then, after doing that for about eight hours, it’s time to go home. The person gets in their car and drives home. There is dinner and then some time to relax in the evening. Sounds all pretty routine, right? Pretty simple. And, most of our days go along a steady, normal flow. Most of are days are uneventful, whether for the good or for the bad.

       What is not so easy to identify in a given day is what could of gone wrong but didn’t. We don’t easily notice what didn’t happen. I mean, stop and think about it. There are so many ways a day can go wrong and of which usually do not happen. A person can oversleep, and then be rushed out to work. An automobile accident could occur going to work or coming home. While at work, a person could make a big mistake. The person could even get fired for it. Upon arriving at home in the evening, someone could find their residence has been robbed, or that there has been a fire. But, in general, all these things usually don’t happen. Yes, we fail to realize the good that is already present. We don’t always need ‘good’ to happen because good is already happening.

       The truth is, just as the world goes round and round, because it’s created by God, there is a certain goodness that is always flowing. The Scriptures even tell us that everything holds together in Christ. Yes, God’s goodness, Jesus’ goodness, keeps the world from falling apart. Really, his love is everywhere, and he bestows his love graciously to all. A lot of people don’t realize this. It’s the old saying, “Out of sight, out of mind.” But really, it was never in their sight to begin with. Plus, there are people don’t believe Jesus is holding everything together. They think they are on their own, that there is no Creator, and that it’s up to them to make things happen. But Divine help is always there.

       So, a good way for us to re-gain our happiness or just increase it even more, is to consider what could be wrong right now but isn’t wrong. What we will find, in doing this exercise, is that there is more right than there is more wrong. Ever think about that? Listen to a lot of people speak and you certainly wouldn’t get that impression. Yet, experientially, it is true. There is more right in the world than there is wrong in the world. It’s a beautiful thing. It is displayed for us, right before our eyes, in an easy observation of nature. I mean, look around. You don’t see most of the trees dying, or the animals for that matter. Sure, everything dies some day due to sin, but that’s not the overarching normal. One of these days God is even going to take that part away, the end result of death. So, what we see now is representative of what will be in the future, just without the death.

Happiness Point #101: When do We Have the Right to Feel Happy?

       Let me just state it plainly up front: a lot of people feel their achievements then give them the ‘right’ to feel happy. Under this way of going about things, people think they need to achieve a certain amount, or suffer to a specific degree, and once all of that is done, they then are allowed to feel happy inside of themselves. They are even permitted to spend some time enjoying themselves. I know a lot of people think like this because I use to myself. In fact, I was a chief operator in this direction, behind this way of thinking. I certainly was a supporter of it. But, thankfully, by the grace of God, one day I realized the error of ways, and ever since, I have been able to flow another way, in a different, better direction.

       For starters, when we think like this it means that when everything goes well, we will then take the time to reward ourselves. Good enough. The problem is, what happens when things don’t go well. What happens when we don’t get enough done, or accomplish all that we wanted to accomplish in a given time period, or a given day? Then, we’re not allowed to be happy. After all, we have failed at our objective. We may even call ourselves a loser. Yet, all this is pointless, Our happiness shouldn’t be based on what we get done or what we don’t get done. Sure, we want to do a good job, but it’s just not realistic that things are always going to go smoothly, or even that we are always going to make the right choices. So, why not be happy no matter what happens?

       A side-effect of getting on a roll and accomplishing more and more is that sometimes we find it hard to stop. We don’t want to stop because we are getting so much done. Well, that could be bad if it takes away from your free time, your time of rest, or if it takes away from your family time. How are you going to be with others and do things if you are always working? Sure, achievement is good. It makes us happy in and of itself. But it’s not all there is to life. Far from it actually. And like I said, no matter what happens in reality we can make the choice to be happy. We can choose to be happy no matter how much work we got done, or didn’t get done.

       Let me tell you a little secret. No matter what we get accomplished in life, at the end of the day, it doesn’t truly give us fulfilling happiness. Did you hear what I just said? True fulfilling happiness can only come from our relationships with God. Why not from achievements? We all know when we have completed that project, or completed that race, or accomplished some particular goal, we feel happy for a little while and then the happiness slowly but surely leaves us as we start to focus on the next thing. Am I not right in this? What one thing have you achieved in your own life that has given you a sustained, fulfilling happiness? Nothing I would venture to say. Only our relationships with God, right? It is his fellowship that makes us well-pleased.

Happiness Point #102: I Do Not Judge the Creator at All

       One of the most foundational principles I have found to keeping our happiness, or giving ourselves happiness when we lack it, is to hold to the dictum: “I do not judge the Creator.” Why is this simple statement so helpful? Well, when bad things happen in our lives, let’s face it, there is usually this temptation to blame God for it. We think, “God could of prevented this from happening, and he didn’t. So, he is at fault.” Or, we think, “Why didn’t God help me with this? Why am I in these dyer circumstances? What is wrong with you God.” See what is going on here? We are blaming God for the bad situation we have found ourselves in. Yet, God isn’t the one causing it.

       If there was ever a person we might think would demonstrate this kind of behavior in the Bible, it is Joseph from the Book of Genesis. Remember the story of Joseph? His father had given him a beautiful, colorful robe, so that he stood out perhaps more than all of his brothers. But one day his brothers, in their jealousy, decided they were going to harm him. The stripped his robe off of him and threw him in a hole. Then, when they saw a group of their enemies coming, they ended up selling him as a slave to those enemies. And so that’s what they did. His own family, his brothers, betrayed him, and it looked like he would never see his beloved father again. And they had even stripped him of his freedom.

       But it didn’t stop there. Later when Joseph was working as a slave in the kingdom of Egypt, his master put him in charge of a lot of good things. In fact, things seemed to turning toward the positive for Joseph. But then what happened? His master’s wife took an interest in him, and when he wouldn’t sleep with her, accused him of attempted rape. Thus, he was locked up in jail and lost his good position. So, Joseph went from a slave with a good reputation to that of a bad one, even though he had done nothing wrong. He was accused of something he never would have done. In light of all these things, then, it seems Joseph would of had the right to accuse God. I mean, didn’t it seem logical that God was at fault for not helping him? And yet, we see that he never accused God of wrong.

       I think a lot of us in Joesph’s shoes wouldn’t be able to take it. It seems to me that we would end up accusing God of all the bad that had befallen us. And yet, Joseph was able to keep his internal happiness even when is outward world was falling apart. Even when people thought badly of him when he really didn’t do anything. You see, our happiness, like Joseph so clearly demonstrates for us, is found in our relationship with God. Nowhere else. To base our happiness solely in the world is uncertain. To base our happiness in our own ability is even uncertain. But, in basing our happiness in God, we find that no matter what happens in our lives, we can always be happy with him as our foundation. It means we really cannot lose anything—anything of lasting value. We truly gain our souls this way as we hold the world loosely.

- Daniel Litton